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- Date sent: Sat, 27 Apr 1996 22:39:08 +0000
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- DIVORCE: A Shattered Dream
- Proliferated by a Societal Myth
- Thomas G. Ferguson
- Saginaw Valley State University
-
- The function of a divorce, also called a dissolution of marriage, is to end the marriage
- and decide issues of child custody, visitation, child support, spousal support or alimony,
- property and debt division, and the question of lawyer's fees and costs. At the completion
- of the divorce, a judgment is entered by the court determining the various issues of the
- marriage and returning the parties to the caste of single persons. The divorce judgment can
- ensue from trial (i.e., litigation) or consensus of the parties. Most cases are resolved by
- agreement of the parties. An agreement is likely to be less disturbing and far less costly
- than a trial. The above paragraph tries to describe what a divorce is, but it fails to
- grasp the entire concept. The above description is sterile, and possibly that is exactly
- what societal forces would like people to believe. The truth is that a divorce is a
- traumatic time for everyone involved. Those involved may just be the couple getting the
- divorce or involvement could include children, extended family, friends and a myriad of
- other relationships. This paper will attempt to analyze the causes and effects of divorce
- and what can be done about this growing epidemic. Currently a battle over divorce is raging
- in Ireland. This is a war over principles and ideals.There are those in Ireland that
- believe that marriage is sacred and for a lifetime. Divorce, in the past, has been illegal
- in Ireland. Recently the laws have changed in Ireland and it is now lawful to file for and
- be granted a divorce. Ireland may be on their way to filling court rooms with those filing
- for divorce and all the ramifications that go with it: alimony, child support, custody of
- children and division of property. The government of Ireland has followed in the footsteps
- of the United States in placing the burden of divorce on not only the couple and those
- around them but also the court system. At one time in the United States the legal system
- used a fault-based divorce law. For a divorce to be granted fault had to be shown on the
- part of one or the other spouse. Over time social reforms have changed this method in the
- court system. "Perhaps the most profound social reform has been the switch from fault-based
- divorce law to no-fault divorce law." (Nakonezny et al. 1995) There are many ways that
- societal norms can be conveyed within a society. One of those ways is through its legal
- system. In this case the legal system has made it easier for divorces to be granted
- allowing them to see into the current mores. "With the reduction of legal obstacles and the
- economic costs of divorce facilitated by no-fault divorce law, there has occurred an
- increase in divorce among high-income families who can now expect more equitable
- settlements of property and spousal support." (Nakonezny). The legal system is only one
- factor that can point to an increase in divorce and its acceptance in society. there are
- many other facets to this problem. "Despite the fact that marital divorce rates have
- decreased throughout the 1980's and into the 1990's, couples marrying for the first time
- continue to face a 50% chance of divorce during their lifetime" (Stanley et al 1995). Due
- to this fact an effort needs to be made to prevent marital distress and divorce. All too
- often the emphasis is placed on correcting the problems of divorce rather than focusing on
- the problems with marriage. Attention is given to child custody and support or visitation
- rights. At this point it is all too often beyond the point where a relationship can be
- saved. The focus needs to be on strengthening marriages before they get to the level where
- divorce is considered. The first issue that has to be addressed when it comes to prevention
- is the "ideal marriage". Many in today society where raised watching television shows such
- as Leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best. These shows showed a perfect marriage. In most
- cases this "perfect marriage" is a myth. Marital problems can not be solved in thirty
- minutes. This also becomes a crucial factor when society is always on the fast track. With
- minute meals, fast food and faxes people are looking for instant gratification. If there is
- any strife in a marriage and there isn't a quick and easy solution, individuals use divorce
- as the solution. These individuals need to understand that a marriage is something that you
- have to work act and requires equal effort from both partners. Another issue that can be
- examined is intervention programs. One such program is PREP: The prevention and
- Relationship Enhancement Program. "PREP was designed t teach partners skills and ground
- rules for handling and promoting intimacy." (Stanley). this program is based on the fact
- that research has shown that it is crucial that ways to handle differences and negative
- affective constructively are learned. "To this end, the program employs techniques and
- strategies consistent with behavioral marital therapy and marital communication programs"
- (Stanley).
-